Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
