Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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