Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
