There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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