Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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