seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
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