"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
