her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
