if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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