Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
