I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
