Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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