and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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