If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
