You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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