you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
