well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
