i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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