Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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