i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
