I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
