So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
