At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
