I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
40s are totally the cure
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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