I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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