in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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