Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
