"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Is it because I queefed?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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