I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He better not be in your backpack
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
