I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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