a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
