I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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