I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
