He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
