I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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