You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
