He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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