i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
