I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
