Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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