I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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