So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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