yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
