; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
