Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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