Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
