Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Sorry about my life...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
