Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
