I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
