help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
