I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
